There are so many deterrents to sleep in Georgia.....
They crawl around trying to find sneaky ways into your home. Once they do, they hide where you least suspect them and then POP out at you, daring you to remain calm. Interesting trivia: did you know a cockroach can live for 7 days without a head? Yep, they only die from lack of food, not because they need brains. But, even brainless cockroaches can be pests. Like when you're in the bathroom and you look out at the master bedroom ceiling and query,"Is that a roach on the ceiling?" dun dun dun.....scary music. YES! You answered correctly! Now to balance on the bed and attempt to smash it without it:
a. flying from the popcorn finish into your hair in a brazen escape attempt
b. scattering roach guts over the freshly laundered sheets
People on the "other side" never have an identical schedule.....why doesn't the Army take this into consideration when it assigns housing? "Sir, your wife works 12 hour shifts-you can't live beside couple A, they only work 8 hour days. The timing is all wrong." OK, a bit unrealistic but it would be funny to see the scrambling going on in the Housing Office if this were added to the mix. Our neighbors are probably really nice people, but they don't go to bed until 30 minutes after we do, and then they have lengthy loud conversations until midnight-ish. Probably interesting stuff, but the walls are insulated just enough to give it all the Charlie Brown teacher "waa, waa waa wahh" affect. If I was a designer- I would make it my personal mission to keep duplex master bedrooms from being one wall apart.
#3 Bombing raids......ok, now I am joking. :)
#4 40 year old sink faucets.
Did you know that our sink faucet can be found in "Hodges Guide to Antique and Collectible Hardware Fixtures-Vol 7." ? Really, its almost priceless. Unfortunately, with all that age comes responsibility. A responsibility to the tenants of 619 Perkins to turn off. An allen wrench is the only tool that comes to mind. The faucet continues to drip maddeningly as you strain. I don't want to tighten it too much, after all, the only time I struggled with a faucet I managed to rip the handle off when I finally got it turned on, leading to a recreation of Katrina era flooding on the med room floor.
#5 And finally, a talking toilet!
I'm sure that not everyone's masterbath has so much melodic talent, but ours does! Literally, the plumbing sings-it hums, gurgles and burbles it way through the night. Nothing has been shown to quiet its soul, but revving it up is simple, turn on the washer and dishwasher at the same time. I've never heard anything like it. You can shut the door, turn on the central air (WHOOSH WHOOSH) and the concrete flooring still carries the noise for miles. I bet our neighbors can hear it and they probably lie awake wishing IT WOULD STOP TOO!
So- all this nonsense to explain why its past 10pm and I'm still wide awake and writing.
Hey, I know it sounds like a lot of complaining------but that's because it is. I'll get over it. And get some sleep. At least the mortars aren't going off at night. Yesterday they BOOMED from noon til five. They actually shook the house each time one went off, and after an hour or so the excitement wore off.
PS-I did ride the roller coasters, 2 of them. No, I did not get sick. I thought I was going to die after the first one though. But, the 2nd one calmed my fears, I actually started enjoying it. 3 loop-de-loops are enough to keep my adrenaline pumping for the next 24 hours. This is the Ninja-showing above the "town buildings".
Can't believe I managed to get on that and make it thru. But, what can I say? I have pride, and watching all the ten year olds calmly climbing off at the finish made me a teeny bit determined to not chicken out on Lou.
Did I mention the BRAWL? Yes, the most exciting thing there, barring roller coasters. We were standing in a (soon to be 1 hour wait) line at the Scorcher when a commotion started on the boardwalk ten feet away. Unfortunately, because of the boardlike railing none of the hundreds of teenagers waiting in line were able to actually see what happened, but we all heard the whooping and hollering. A rather corpulent guy in his 30s was trading insults and wallops with an equally large black woman. At one point she rushed him and knocked him down, cutting his forehead in the process, but the noise continued and he continued his fight, apparently at one point hitting her, which did not sit well with her friends, who were hanging out to watch the show. At that point the boardwalk thundered under the righteous wrath of 5 very large black women who descended on him and beat the daylights out of him as well as his shirt off his back.......it all ended with security guards showing up en mass and escorting them away. The waiting line of several hundred kids became a cheering squad in the meantime, as the fight progressed they hollered for their perceived righteous side to "kill em". Very uplifting and all. I asked Lou if that was a normal amusement park occurrence and he said,"No, just when you visit them."
We finished out a terrific day with $22 worth of articles of consumption (thought you'd appreciate that one, Betsy) No hotdog wrapped in pretzel dough ever tasted better! (see picture below for details-all this for a mere $22! :))