That's me! And still is, even after the experience of having Anjuli! As I write this, she has just finished her 3am feeding and is lying cuddled up in one of my pillows next to me, swaddled and content. I'm overcome with being a mother after these 5 years of marriage to Lou, I've heard women describe it in all types of ways....but for me its a mixture of wonder and tiny pieces of amazement sprinkled through my day..at this baby who is totally dependent on me to care for her and also her own little person through and through already!
So, I've been getting a lot of questions about the BIRTH. Tell us the birth story! When are you going to give out the details? I'll try my best! :) Its not that I haven't wanted to share "birth day" pictures and the synopsis, but we've been spending our time doing wonderful and painful things this week...like developing sleep patterns and Mommy/Anjuli nursing education and coordination, etc etc.
Wednesday, April 10th -0345 am. I woke to my alarm, got up to shower and check my bag one last time for our 0500 induction scheduled at the Sierra Vista hospital. I was exactly 41 weeks. I couldn't remember if it was ok to eat before going in but I was so nervous and excited that I decided against it, for the moment. I woke Lou 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave and he did his "ready for the day in 5 minutes" magic as usual.
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| Before the grand induction adventure started! |
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| Lou trying out the bed, since I was determined to walk around and "get things started" ha! |
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We arrived to the hospital at 0500 and went through registration before walking to the OB unit. They have a small, maybe 13 bed unit but its really nice, updated and their staff is so friendly and helpful every time we've had to make a visit. The nurse directed me to my room, we signed stacks of paperwork saying that we would let the staff care for me, etc etc. and not smoke in our room...all that good stuff. She started my IV, took vital signs and at 0600 she started me on Pitocin at 2mu/minute for the induction, as well as a penicillin bolus as I tested positive for Group B strep in the office. The penicillin BURNS, there's no denying it! The monitor showed I was having contractions, but they were irregular when I arrived, just uncomfortable but no biggie. They turn up the Pitocin 2mu every 30 minutes until a regular contraction pattern occurs so she came back in at 0630 and then at 0700. Dr. Kacenga was going to be in at 0730 to break my water and that made me more nervous than anything else. I'm not sure why, maybe it was all the horror stories about contractions being merely "uncomfortable" until your water is broken and then they are straight from the Pit! Or, my mom's tale of T's birth where the doctor broke her water and her cord prolapsed...requiring an emergency c section. Either way, I was silently praying that he wouldn't need to! At that point I realized just how HUNGRY I was...I was starving! So, we ordered me a clear liquids tray of delicious broth...haha, and gingerale. It did have its saving grace, Italian ice in strawberry flavor. Yum. Definitely a bright light in a dark room. I ordered Lou a regular tray and we ate as I stood rocking back and forth to try and help contractions become stronger. Poor Lou, right as he put the first bite of omelet into his mouth, my water broke! It was such a strange feeling, followed by the relief that Dr. Kacenga wouldn't be needed for that part. :) Lou is a trooper, its a good thing his stomach is made of iron as most folks would promptly throw away their breakfast and stay Kermit green for a while. He manfully ate every bite! LOL At that point Dr. Kacenga arrived to check my progress-did I mention that those exams make me want to climb backwards up and off the bed? Its a universal feeling, I believe. The bad news was that I was unchanged from Monday in the office..still 1.5 cm and 40% effaced. He gave me some encouragement and headed out, then my nurse came back, offering me a birthing ball to use at the bedside. The contractions had started becoming more and more uncomfortable at this point so I was glad to try it out and I definitely am a fan of birthing balls now. The only problem with my case was my amniotic fluid. My close friends know that I've carried a water bottle with me since early pregnancy and drink massive amounts (for me, as I don't really like water) of water throughout the day in order to stay hydrated. The high measurement for amniotic fluid on ultrasound is 20 and when they did my ultrasound at 40 weeks I had 17...which explains why Anjuli could bounce around inside so freely for so long! This massive amount of fluid resulted in gushing every time I had a contraction...which meant that Lou ran back and forth getting towels and replacing the ones I had around the ball every 2 minutes-because that's how often the contractions were now. They began getting really painful and I was deep breathing, praying, and moaning...then they picked up and became even closer, every 1-1 1/2 minutes. My amniotic fluid saturated at least 5 hospital towels and it was still coming when I got incredibly sick and ended up in the bathroom...at the same time I started vomiting not just the clear liquids from the morning's tray but also food from the previous night. It was quite the scene. I knew it was coming so I was able to have Lou grab the blue upchuck bags from their spot and didn't entirely make a mess...but my body felt as though it had completely lost control of all functions. I remember sitting in the bathroom clutching Lou's hands and praying that I would survive another contraction! Whew, quite the drama! When the nurse checked on me, we asked her about the bloody show we were seeing-it seemed like quite a bit. No, let me re-phrase that, Lou asked her about it as I was fighting my way through contractions and groaning. From the short walk to bedside from the bathroom I had two and I couldn't seem to catch my breath long enough before another one hit. She turned the Pitocin down and said that they were coming one on top of another so a little too close together for comfort. At that point, she checked me and TaDa! All that pain and suffering was the result of lots of change-I had gone from 1.5/40% at 0730 am to 4.5cm/100% effaced at 1000. I was glad, but it didn't change the fact that I thought I was dying, literally. I've never experienced pain in that way, where my body started cleansing me of everything I had put it in in the last 24 hours! During the check, I vomited again and she asked me,"Are you sure you don't want the epidural? I just want to offer it again." Frankly, I couldn't see myself surviving at this point. Dr. Kacenga and the nurse both seemed to think my labor as a first time mom would be at least 14-16 hours with the induction and it had been only 4...so my brain kept saying "you're only 1/4 of the way through at most". Ahhhhh! I was breathing through the contractions but I didn't feel in control either mentally or physiologically. On the other hand, I really had wanted to attempt it without the epidural and I felt guilty for "caving in" to my weakness. I asked Lou, I remember crying and telling him that folks would be disappointed in me (think there was some crazy pain induced thought process going on there, lol :)) and he assured me that no one would mind, that he felt it would be a good thing for me to have it and not be in such pain. So, I was like,"Yes, I'll take it" and the anesthesiologist popped in 5 minutes later to start it. Those 5 minutes seemed eternity, with 2 more contractions....in fact, I have to say that I felt absolutely no anxiety or pain during the epidural placement (although Lou was in shock about the needle cannula length...he still talks about!) because the pain of the contractions was overwhelming everything else. Once he placed it, it took 15 minutes or so and then....euphoria. I've never felt that before! It was like going from dying slowly and painfully to warm numb drowsiness. Lou said that is when I started talking and smiling again.....and I'm sure he's right. I was disappointed I couldn't continue without it until I had it, it ran beautifully and I lay back and relaxed.
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| A hot mess- right after the epidural was placed! |
We sat and talked, then Lou turned on HGTV's "Love It Or List It" and we laughed about the owners of the "un-liveable (in their minds) homes" as they complained about the color of a room's wall, or exclaimed that they "couldn't live here, we need at LEAST 5 bedrooms and 4 baths and this home is just too small" of the 4,000 square foot dwellings they were shown. We wondered aloud what they would think of our 1400 sq. ft Fort Huachuca house with its leaking drains, linoleum tile over concrete in EVERY room, drain roaches and concrete exterior walls that make it almost impossible to decorate! :) I'm afraid we had very little sympathy for the dis-satisfied show participants. At noon, my nurse re-checked me and I had progressed to 8cm! At 10cm you're allowed to start pushing so she was optimistic I would be delivered much earlier than expected. Yay! It was so difficult to imagine being a mommy at that point. I had so much excitement but it still felt so unreal that this child who had spent the last 9 months inside me would be meeting me, today! I kept speculating on who she would look like, whether she would have hair? (I was bald when I was born) Lou assured me she'd be beautiful! (And he was right, she is!)
At 3pm I was 10cm and began the pushing process. I was numb from the waist down due to the epidural but I could still center my pushing somewhat...I asked my nurse for a mirror to be able to push effectively and that helped me tremendously. We did several pushes through the contractions and then she called Dr. Kacenga to come from his office, which is just a few blocks away. He arrived close to 330pm and while he gowned and gloved we continued, Lou supporting me on one side and my nurse on the other. It was a strange feeling to be at that stage of the labor, wondering if I was "doing it right" and the excitement building as she moved down the birth canal. And then, she was there! Her head was showing and Lou said,"Kim, she has hair!" so I reached down and felt her little fuzzy head...I think that threw me into overdrive...I just wanted her out! She arrived- at 346pm, covered in vernix and goopy-ness....and I babbled, "Here, lemme have her, lemme have her!!!" I remember grabbing at her and Dr. Kacenga and the resident laughing at me as I wouldn't let her go....I never thought I'd be that anxious to hold an unwashed newly born baby (I thought perhaps I would want her cleaned up first?) but it didn't matter a bit at the moment that she was covered in gunk, I just wanted her in my arms and to see her, for the first time! She was beautiful, angry and screaming!
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| 30 seconds after she was born! |
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| Wonderful new life shared together! |
Just beautiful! Up to that point (since we hadn't had a 3/4D ultrasound) our last ultrasound had been for fluid check only so I wasn't sure what she looked like...just a vague outline from our 24 week one. I can't get enough of her! She's this amazing little bundle of joy from the Lord and I can't imagine anything better than having her as our own!
She weighed in at 7 lbs. 9 oz and is very long, 20.5". Lou cut the umbilical cord. :) Her apgars were excellent, 9/9.
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| So unhappy with us! :) |
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I had some tearing (2nd degree) from delivery but all in all I'm so thrilled with how everything went, the nursing staff at the hospital was so good to me, I started taking the Ibuprofen/Vicodin Dr. Kacenga prescribed that evening in order to pre-medicate before the pain became severe...it seemed to work super well and I've been very sore at times during the healing process but its not unbearable. They took my iv/epidural out after delivery, let me get up through the night and feed her on demand. She spent the night rooming in with us and I hated to let her go out of my sight, even for the pediatrician's exam. :) I was exhausted though after delivery and the adrenaline wore off! I took this picture just to remind myself of how zoned out I was that night! It makes me laugh. :)
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| The nurse said my heartrate went into the 130s when I delivered and stayed there for half an hour so once it dropped, I felt like I'd just run a marathon! |
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I was released home the following evening after we successfully had the requisite number of dirty/wet diapers and her nursing was going well. :)
I've been here ever since getting in the groove with our little blessing and feeling better and better each day! I am amazed at how well I feel, how much energy I have!
Some wonderful changes for me involve: more sleep (shocking, I know, with a newborn-but before her birth I was getting less than 4 hours a night), being able to eat anything and everything without having reflux and heartburn, walking without pain, no more trips to the bathroom every 15 minutes! Its amazing! I love it, and her!
:) Lou and I spend an inordinate amount of time admiring her,"Isn't she beautiful? Yes dear. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!" :) Thank you all for prayers throughout this process, for praying back when Anjuli was only a name in a novel, through the infertility treatments, through the pregnancy and now for her healthy birth! We can't wait to share her with you all on our visits home, our little blessing!
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| Growing every day-her favorite sleeping pose after a morning feeding! |
PS- This blog will now be dedicated to all things baby Anjuli, lol. Seriously, be prepared for a lot of that but also I plan to keep you updated on our lives in general and where the army takes us next. :)
